Every adoption story is different. For some, adoption may be filled with joy, gratitude, connection, and a strong sense of belonging. For others, it may bring questions, grief, loss, curiosity, uncertainty, or a desire to better understand their own story. Often, adoption includes many of these emotions existing together.

As a counselor and an adoptee, I have both personal and professional insight into the complexities of adoption. My own adoption journey has shaped not only who I am, but also my passion for supporting adoptees, adoptive families, and individuals navigating questions of identity, belonging, grief, connection, and healing.

My Personal Connection to Adoption

From an early age, I knew I was adopted. Adoption was never something hidden from me, and I grew up knowing that I was loved, supported, and chosen by my adoptive family.

My adoptive parents provided me with stability, security, and unconditional love. They were the people who showed up for me, guided me, celebrated my accomplishments, and supported me through life’s challenges. Through them, I learned that family is created through much more than biology. Family is built through love, commitment, trust, consistency, and the relationships we nurture over time.

At the same time, being adopted also meant carrying questions about where I came from and how my story began. Like many adoptees, I experienced curiosity about my biological family, my history, and the parts of my identity that existed before adoption.

Having questions about your beginning does not mean you are unhappy with your present. It does not mean you love your family any less. For many adoptees, curiosity is a natural part of understanding identity and creating a fuller picture of who they are.

Over time, my curiosity became a journey of understanding. I searched for answers about my background and eventually had the opportunity to reconnect with members of my biological family. That experience was meaningful, emotional, and complex. It brought connection and answers, while also bringing new emotions and experiences to process.

My reunion experience taught me that adoption can hold many truths at the same time. An adoptee can deeply love and appreciate the family who raised them while also wanting to understand their biological roots. These experiences do not compete with one another; they can both be meaningful parts of a person’s identity.

The Complexity of Adoption and Identity

Identity development is a lifelong process for everyone, but adoptees may experience unique questions as they work to understand themselves and their place in the world.

Many people grow up knowing their family history—their ancestry, medical background, childhood stories, and connections to previous generations. For some adoptees, parts of that history may be unknown, complicated, or something they seek to better understand.

Questions such as:

• Who am I?
• Where did I come from?
• Who do I look like?
• Where did certain personality traits come from?
• What parts of my story have shaped me?
• How do I honor all parts of my identity?

are common experiences for many adoptees.

These questions are not signs of being ungrateful. They are not a rejection of the people who raised us. Instead, they are often part of the lifelong process of understanding ourselves, our history, and the experiences that have shaped who we are.

Understanding where we come from can help us better understand who we are.

Adoption Can Include Both Love and Loss

One of the most important lessons I have learned through my own journey is that adoption can include both gratitude and grief.

Adoption may bring love, connection, opportunity, and belonging, but it can also involve experiences of separation, unanswered questions, missing pieces of personal history, and wondering about what life might have looked like under different circumstances.

Acknowledging adoption-related grief does not take away from gratitude. It simply recognizes that adoption can hold many experiences at once.

An adoptee may feel grateful for their adoptive family while still grieving biological connections or experiences they did not have. They may love their adoptive parents deeply while wanting to understand more about their birth family.

These emotions are not contradictory. They are part of the complexity of adoption.

A person can feel loved and still have questions.

A person can feel grateful and still experience loss.

A person can appreciate their family while wanting to understand their beginning.

All of these feelings can exist together.

Reunion, Connection, and Complicated Emotions

For some adoptees, reunion with biological family can be an important part of understanding their story. For others, reunion may not be something they desire or pursue. There is no single “right” way to experience adoption.

Reconnection can bring many emotions—joy, excitement, connection, uncertainty, grief, healing, and even new questions. It may provide answers that have been sought for years while also creating new experiences to process.

Many adoptees learn how to hold multiple truths at the same time: loving the family who raised them while also honoring the family they came from.

An adoptee does not have to choose between appreciating where they are today and understanding where they came from. A person’s story can include many chapters.

The Importance of Belonging

One of the biggest questions many adoptees explore throughout life is:

“Where do I belong?”

Belonging is not created through biology alone. It is built through safety, trust, consistency, and relationships with people who show up for us.

For adoptees, belonging may be found in many places:

• the family who raised them,
• biological connections,
• friendships and communities,
• and relationships with people who understand their story.

A person does not have to choose one part of their identity over another. Adoption can include multiple connections and relationships that all contribute to who someone becomes.

Why Adoption-Informed Counseling Matters

My adoption journey is one of the reasons I became passionate about counseling. My personal experiences have deepened my understanding of attachment, identity development, family relationships, grief, and the ways people make meaning of their life experiences.

Counseling can provide support for adoptees navigating:

• identity development and questions of belonging,
• grief and loss,
• attachment and relationships,
• reunion experiences,
• family dynamics,
• trauma and healing,
• and life transitions.

Counseling can also support adoptive parents and families as they navigate communication, openness, connection, and understanding their child’s unique experience.

I believe there is no single “right” way to experience adoption. Some adoptees seek reunion, while others do not. Some feel adoption is a central part of their identity, while others do not. Some carry mostly positive feelings, while others hold more complicated emotions.

Every story is different.

Creating Space for Every Adoption Story

My goal as a counselor is to create a compassionate, safe space where adoptees, adoptive families, and individuals connected to adoption feel seen, respected, and supported.

A space where every part of a person’s story can be explored—the joyful moments, the difficult moments, the unanswered questions, and the healing.

My lived experience as an adoptee has deepened my empathy, but I also recognize that every person’s story is their own. No two adoption journeys are exactly alike, and every person deserves the opportunity to explore their experiences in a way that feels safe and meaningful.

Adoption is not just about where someone begins. It is about the lifelong journey of understanding who they are, where they belong, and the relationships that shape their story.

Every adoption story matters. Every person’s experience is unique. And every individual deserves compassion, understanding, and the opportunity to make meaning of their own journey.

Hannah Thompson, LPCA
Therapist Associate
The Behavioral Wellness Group
55A Sheridan Park Circle   Bluffton SC 29910
8224 Mentor Ave #208     Mentor OH  44060
P: 843 278 0008 #882 F: 440 565 2349
P:  440 392 2222 #307    F:  440 565 2349
hthompson@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.com

The post Adoption Is More Than a Beginning: Understanding Identity, Belonging, and the Lifelong Adoption Journey appeared first on Behavioral Wellness Group.

Many people assume that if they wanted the change, they should only feel grateful or excited. In reality, it’s possible to feel hopeful about the future while simultaneously mourning what you’re leaving behind. Two emotions can exist at the same time.

Why Transitions Feel So Difficult

As humans, we crave predictability. Our routines, relationships, and familiar environments create a sense of safety. When life changes, even in positive ways, our brains must adapt to new circumstances, responsibilities, and identities.

Transitions often challenge us with questions like:

• Who am I now?
• What if I make the wrong decision?
• Will things ever feel normal again?
• What does this next chapter look like?

It’s common to feel anxious, overwhelmed, or emotionally “in-between” during these seasons. You may find yourself grieving a version of your life that no longer exists while trying to build a future you can’t fully see yet.

Give Yourself Permission to Grieve

One of the most overlooked parts of life transitions is grief. We often associate grief only with death, but grief occurs anytime we experience loss.

You may grieve:

• The routine you once had
• A relationship or season of life
• Your previous identity
• Dreams or expectations that changed
• The comfort of what was familiar

Allowing yourself to acknowledge these losses doesn’t mean you’re resisting change. It means you’re honoring an important chapter of your life before turning the page.

Coping with the Uncertainty

Although you can’t eliminate uncertainty, you can learn to navigate it with greater confidence and resilience.

Here are a few strategies that can help:

Focus on what you can control. When life feels uncertain, it’s easy to become consumed by “what if” thoughts. Instead, shift your attention toward the choices you can make today, whether that’s maintaining healthy routines, reaching out for support, or taking one small step toward your goals.

Practice self-compassion. Adjusting to change takes time. Give yourself permission to have difficult days without judging yourself for them. Healing isn’t linear, and growth rarely feels comfortable.

Stay connected. Life transitions can feel isolating, but you don’t have to navigate them alone. Lean on trusted friends, family members, support groups, or a mental health professional who can help you process your emotions.

Create new routines. Familiar routines provide stability during uncertain times. Even simple habits like taking a daily walk, eating meals consistently, journaling, or maintaining a regular sleep schedule can help create a sense of grounding.

Accept that not everything has an immediate answer. One of the most challenging parts of any transition is learning to tolerate uncertainty. Rather than rushing to “figure everything out,” remind yourself that clarity often comes through experience, not before it.

Building Distress Tolerance During Change

Transitions often bring uncomfortable emotions that we naturally want to escape or avoid. Instead of fighting those feelings, practicing distress tolerance allows you to move through them without becoming overwhelmed.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches that painful emotions are part of life, but we can learn skills to cope with them effectively. Grounding exercises, mindfulness, self-soothing activities, and Radical Acceptance can help you tolerate uncertainty while continuing to move toward the life you want to build.

Acceptance doesn’t mean approving of what happened or pretending it’s easy. It means acknowledging reality as it is so you can stop fighting what cannot be changed and begin investing your energy in what comes next.

Final Thoughts

Every transition asks something different of us. Some require courage. Others require patience. Many require us to let go before we’re ready.

If you’re in a season of change, remember that it’s okay to miss what was while still making room for what’s ahead. The uncertainty you’re feeling today won’t last forever. With time, support, and intentional coping, today’s unfamiliar season can become tomorrow’s new normal.

Life transitions may change your path, but they don’t diminish your ability to grow. Sometimes the most meaningful chapters begin only after we’ve had the courage to leave the previous one behind.

Stephanie Jacobs, LPC
Therapist and Adult IOP Director (SC)
The Behavioral Wellness Group
55A Sheridan Park Circle, Bluffton, SC 29910
8224 Mentor Ave #208 Mentor OH  44060
P:  440 392 2222 #307 F:  440 565 2349
sjacobs@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.com

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Depression can affect anyone, and watching a loved one struggle with it can be challenging, concerning and at times, maybe even scary. While you can’t “fix” their depression, your support can make a significant difference in their journey to recovery.

Educate Yourself About Depression
Self-Knowledge is one of the most crucial things you can do to help your loved one who is struggling with depression. Even having just a basic understanding of depression can make a difference. Mental health still has a lot of stigma attached to it, even in 2026. Depression is a condition, not a weakness or something people can just “snap out of.” If it were that easy, wouldn’t they have done it already?

Active Listening and Empathy
In addition to learning about depression, practice listening to your loved one without judgement. Actively listen to them. That means giving them the time to speak without you trying to fix it or make things better. Let your loved one share their feelings without fear of criticism or dismissal. Sometimes, just having someone listen is a powerful support.

What about well-intended advice? We’ve all been there. Someone trying to help us gives unsolicited advice and we may get upset about it because that isn’t what we currently need. Phrases like “just think positive” or “cheer up” can feel invalidating. Instead, express empathy and understanding and always practice active listening.

Offer Helpful Assistance
Depression often leads to intense feelings of being overwhelmed, and your loved one might not have the energy to do the everyday tasks they normally do when they are not in a depressive state. Preparing meals, running errands or helping with chores can go a long way in assisting your loved ones at this difficult time.

Encouraging Professional Help
If they are not currently seeking professional help, you can gently suggest this but please know that this is up to them. Everyone operates on their own timeline. Some people may not be ready to have professional help, possibly due to stigma and or their own beliefs. Some cultures are not receptive to seeking mental heath help and this is something to also consider.

Supporting a loved one with depression isn’t always easy, but your compassion and understanding can be a lifeline. Small gestures, like checking in regularly or simply listening, can make a meaningful difference in their recovery. Remember, your support can help them feel less alone as they navigate their mental health journey.

If you or your loved one need additional professional support, please feel free to reach out to the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill or call us at The Behavioral Wellness Group. We would
be glad to help.

Erin Pawlak, MS, LPCC-S
Therapist and Adolescent IOP Director
The Behavioral Wellness Group
55A Sheridan Park Circle   Bluffton SC 29910
8224 Mentor Ave #208     Mentor OH  44060
P: 843 278 0008 #307 F: 440 565 2349
P:  440 392 2222 #307    F:  440 565 2349
epawlak@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.comup.com

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This is where I ask the parents a simple question. Would you allow your child to decide whether they are going to go to the dentist? The answer has always been no. Why is that? Well, the kid needs to be checked out for cavities and to have a cleaning. Mental health treatment is no different. No. Different. Teenagers are not typically capable of making their own decisions on medical treatment. They must have a parent or guardian make decisions not just for legal reasons but because a teenager is not always able to fully comprehend the long-lasting effect that can happen if they don’t go to the dentist, doctor or even a therapist. Their brain is not fully grown, which impairs them in comprehending the full scope of their actions and making sound choices. Now, some teenagers can realize this, which is great, and they want to get into therapy because they know they need help. I would say this is a small group of kids who feel this way they thought. Most are reluctant to ask for the help or they don’t think they have a problem.

Back to the threats. I have yet to see a kid who came to therapy, against their wishes, act out and or “get worse.” This is a form of manipulation on the kids’ part to get what they want from the parents and sometimes, it unfortunately works. Of course, the parents are worried about their child and want the best for them so that can be a hard decision to make. Will their child follow through with their threat? I suppose it’s possible, I just haven’t experienced it.

If your child is struggling with self-harming behaviors, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts, has been hospitalized for mental health reasons, has been diagnosed with depression and or anxiety, is missing school and isolating from social situations, please consider getting them into either an IOP (Intensive Outpatient Program) or individual therapy. If the above symptoms are present with your child, remember that your child may not be capable of looking at the bigger picture in life and realizing that they need help. This is an executive parental decision. Just like the dentist. It’s no different and it could save your child’s life and get their mental health stabilized.

So, what is an IOP and how can it help teens? Well, The Behavioral Wellness Group offers and Adolescent IOP that I direct and run. IOP meets 3 times a week for 3 hours each time and for 8 weeks. It’s a commitment for both the kid and the parents/families BUT the program works. The kids get to hear from their peers about what they struggle with and what coping skills they’ve learned to use and what works and haven’t worked for them. IOP is focused heavily on DBT (Dialectal Behavioral Therapy) which focuses on reframing negative thinking patterns and destructive behaviors into positive outcomes. DBT helps with regulating emotions, building self-management skills, reducing anxiety symptoms, depression symptoms and stress. DBT is evidence-based and helps to establish coping mechanisms to implement in environments that may elicit old destructive patterns.

To learn more about BWG’s Adolescent IOP, please visit our website at https://www.behavioralwellnessgroup.com/ or feel free to contact me. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have.

Erin Pawlak, MS, LPCC-S
Therapist and Adolescent IOP Director
The Behavioral Wellness Group
55A Sheridan Park Circle   Bluffton SC 29910
8224 Mentor Ave #208     Mentor OH  44060
P: 843 278 0008 #307 F: 440 565 2349
P:  440 392 2222 #307    F:  440 565 2349
epawlak@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.comup.com

The post Parents, Teens and Mental Health appeared first on Behavioral Wellness Group.

Why Boundaries Matter

Boundaries are not about building walls; they are about creating clear, respectful guidelines for how we interact with the world and how others interact with us. Mental health professionals often see clients who feel overwhelmed, overcommitted, or emotionally drained which are symptoms that are frequently tied to a lack of boundaries.

Healthy boundaries help:

• Protect your time and energy
• Reduce stress and emotional reactivity
• Prevent burnout and compassion fatigue
• Foster more respectful and authentic relationships

Signs You May Need Stronger Boundaries

If you often say yes when you want to say no, feel responsible for other people’s feelings, or struggle with guilt when prioritizing yourself, you may benefit from strengthening your boundaries. Other signs include:

• Feeling resentful or taken advantage of
• Difficulty making decisions without others’ approval
• Avoiding conflict to keep the peace

Setting Boundaries With Confidence

Learning to set boundaries takes practice, especially if you’ve spent years putting others first. Start by identifying what your limits are emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Ask yourself:

• What drains me?
• What energizes me?
• Where do I feel tension or resentment?

Once you’ve identified your limits, the next step is communicating them clearly and respectfully. Use “I” statements and focus on your needs, rather than blaming others. For example:

• “I need time to rest this weekend, so I won’t be attending the event.”
• “I’m not available to take on another project right now.”

Overcoming Guilt

One of the biggest challenges to setting boundaries is managing the guilt that can come with saying no. It’s important to remember that honoring your needs is not selfish, it’s self-preserving. When you take care of yourself, you’re better able to show up fully and compassionately for others.

Therapists often use cognitive behavioral techniques or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills like DEAR MAN (Describe, Express, Assert, Reinforce, Mindful, Appear confident, Negotiate) to help clients practice boundary-setting in a structured, effective way.

Final Thoughts

Healthy boundaries are a cornerstone of mental wellness. They allow us to conserve energy, focus on what truly matters, and build relationships rooted in mutual respect. If you struggle with setting or maintaining boundaries, working with a mental health professional can provide the support and tools you need to find your voice and protect your peace.

Remember: saying “no” isn’t rejection, it’s redirection toward a healthier, more intentional life.

Stephanie Jacobs, LPC
Therapist and Adult IOP Director (SC)
The Behavioral Wellness Group
55A Sheridan Park Circle, Bluffton, SC 29910
8224 Mentor Ave #208 Mentor OH  44060
P:  440 392 2222 #307 F:  440 565 2349
sjacobs@behavioralwellnessgroup.com
www.behavioralwellnessgroup.com

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